answers to questions that literally no one ASKED
Q: What kind of copywriter are you?
A: I'm not a regular copywriter, I'm a cool copywriter. *wink*
Q: What's your favorite animal?
A: This one's easy. Overweight chihuahuas.
Q: What do you spend too much time thinking about?
A: Figuring out which subway car door to stand next to in order to optimize my commute.
Q: Yo U up?
A: Honestly, probably. I'm definitely more of a night person.
Q: Have you ever gotten mugged in a brothel in Southeast Asia?
Q: Name one thing you're ashamed of.
A: My hometown is the city that brought you Smash Mouth.
Q: Any tattoos?
A: I've got a dinosaur on my left forearm and if you can name it I'll buy you a beer.
Q: What do you want?
A: Probably tacos . . . and world peace.
Q: I'm looking to round out my "30 Under 30" industry list. Are you eligible?
A: Nope. Sorry. I know, I'm bummed too.
This is what the TSA thinks I look like.